I’m one of two kids that my mom had. She’s one of three kids her parents had. Her father was emotionally abusive – and mom’s still in denial about it, Her older brother had a mental breakdown in boot camp after he joined the army – and he returned home and lived with his parents until they could no longer care for him, then lived in a VA assisted living facility for the rest of his life. Mom’s younger sister never had children. My brother and I are both child-free.

So – one child had little to no opportunity to pass on the behavior. Another child may have consciously (or unconsciously) chosen a way out by marrying someone who didn’t want any more children. The third perpetuated the cycle (though perhaps not as extremely, based on some of the things I’ve heard…). I’m on record at age 17 stating that I was not sure I wanted to have kids – I blamed it on the state of the world in general at the time, because that sounded like something people would understand, but inside I just knew that I didn’t have it in me to be the kind of parent that I wanted to be – or the kind of parent that I wanted. Somehow, I just knew I was damaged enough that I’d likely damage any kid I had. And I didn’t want to do that.