…and there are people on the planet to whom your lifestyle would be luxury. Comparing suffering (the “suffering Olympics”) is generally a silencing technique in online arguments, and I think that’s what you’re doing here. The problem is, I can trot out examples of people dying in famine-torn countries, and then someone else brings up genocidal wars, and we never get anywhere. Additionally, just because there’s always a Worse Problem someone could be having does not mean it’s wrong to discuss a particular problem.

Unfortunately the only way for all North Americans to be as rich as the ones we see on TV is for the rest of the world to be our working class for us.

I disagree. I think there’s enough to go around for all of the planet’s inhabitants to live in modest comfort. I wasn’t thinking only of myself when I stated that anyone who contributes to society and doesn’t waste resources should be able to enjoy that modest comfort.

You and your friends, at least, have the privilege of being allowed to participate in society.

I don’t have any idea what you mean by “participate in society”. If you care to define your terms, I’ll see if I have a response.

Because I’m less privileged, and people don’t want to know?

Maybe it’s because you ASSUME you’re the least privileged person everywhere you go, and thereby offend other people who may actually be less privileged than you, or are at least aware that we mustn’t assume everyone we encounter had is easy compared to us? And yes, I do remember the details you’ve shared of your life, and they are heartbreaking. But while you are absolutely right to speak up, perhaps you need to keep in mind that you do not know the background of every commenter on Hathor or this site. What if one of them shared a story that was even worse than your own? Would that make you slink off in shame and never complain again? I hope not, because every wrong should be railed against at the tops of our lungs.

Because I see or think things other people don’t want to know about?

And you think you have a monopoly on that? I see you didn’t make it back to this post.

It’s certainly not just here and Hathor. I have to bite my tongue constantly or feel unwelcome. Not much of a choice.

If it’s not just here and Hathor – if the common denominator is you – perhaps you should consider that your communication skills need some work. You state opinions as fact; when we invite you into debate, you simply scoff at us for not agreeing with your educated opinion and then imply that we’re all mean, ignorant buffoons out to hurt your feelings. Either you are so brilliant and we are all so beneath you that you really ARE just wasting your time trying to converse with us fools, or you need to consider the possibility you treat people unfairly.

After all, if what I say doesn’t make sense to you, you could always ask questions.

On Hathor, I asked you about half a dozen questions, and your only response was that you had gotten your opinion was informed and you stood by it. Kind of hard to have a discussion if one participant has no interest in explaining how she got to her conclusion.

“And sometimes I resent the world because, really, anyone who works as hard as I do and spends as frugally should be able to buy a house and have some job mobility. There’s no excuse in a country as fortunate as the US for full-time jobs not paying enough for you to buy your way out of the indentured servitude of rent and save your way into some financial security.”

I completely understand this sentiment. Unfortunately the only way for all North Americans to be as rich as the ones we see on TV is for the rest of the world to be our working class for us. You can always go build a cabin in the woods, if you can afford the land. Plywood and 2x4s don’t cost that much, though getting on the grid is more expensive. But living in a city is expensive. Land is expense. And most people need to live in cities, because that’s where the work is. Many people will be renters their entire lives, and some of them might actually prefer it that way. There shouldn’t be anything wrong with any of that.

I get so tired of people thinking I don’t get what they say. I live in crushing poverty. If I were to lose the apartment I am lucky enough to afford, I would probably have to move out of town, perhaps to some shack in the woods, with the money legislation allows me to live on.

You and your friends, at least, have the privilege of being allowed to participate in society.

I try to hard to be polite on other people’s forums, and I keep wearing out my welcome. Because I’m less privileged, and people don’t want to know? Because I see or think things other people don’t want to know about? Because the things I say perhaps mean something different to me than to people in other situations? Sometimes just because I’m from a different country, and I read different media. This has been going on for so many years for me. It’s certainly not just here and Hathor. I have to bite my tongue constantly or feel unwelcome. Not much of a choice.

And if you think I’m misreading what you say to me, consider the possibility that what you say might have a different meaning in my less-privileged life than in yours. If it does. After all, if what I say doesn’t make sense to you, you could always ask questions.

And, as I said, “to enjoy a place, I need enough money to see it in style.” Not all of us enjoy hostels and Greyhounds, and the reason for that isn’t necessarily misguided snobbery. My idea of a vacation is to get the fuck AWAY from people for a few days. I’m one of those people who needs a lot of personal space just to be remotely content. Being crammed in with other people shoots my nerves completely to hell, and that’s not much of a vacation.

It is hard, though, when you can’t afford to go to a movie with people, let alone get something to eat afterwards. That’s always been a struggle for me, even in grad school. And then sometimes they offer to treat, which is just as bad.

Basically, I very much understand and thank you dearly for your post. No one’s ever told me so simply why I felt three times poorer than my family actually is when I was at my old (tiny, private, all-girls, UES of Manhattan) school.

The general gripe: they go to England because they don’t want to work 2 jobs. Um, why would you want to work 2 jobs if you can earn the same, or more, in one, and get to see another country in the bargain?

I have no idea where this mentality comes from. But I’m begining to appreciate now why there’s alledgedly a lot of resentment of Western tourists in Poland.

Right now, my message here is reaching about 600 people a month. With more money, there’s a lot more I could do to get my ideas – and those of other bloggers with wonderful insights and suggestions – into the public arena where they would become viable options for societies to choose instead of niche programming for a niche audience. We could make movies that tackle these themes (or simply fail to pander to the usual stereotypes), run people for office, etc.

So your impact by writing this is much more significant, I think, than you give it credit for.