This is a typical conversation between a Christian and a non-believer:
Christian: Abortion/homosexuality/[insert incredibly incindiary topic here] is blah blah blah.
Atheist/agnotic: (smiles and nods)
We smile and nod because we know Christian beliefs are respected and other beliefs are not so much, and if we say something precisely as offensive/inane in response, we will be treated as if we just punched a toddler in the face. I’ve done this a number of times:
Christian: Abortion/homosexuality/[insert incredibly incindiary topic here] is blah blah blah.
Atheist/agnotic: Really? I feel abortion/homosexuality/[insert incredibly incindiary topic here] is the opposite blah blah blah.
For which I am a hideously offensive monster. Doesn’t matter that the Christian was the one who introduced a controversial topic into the conversation and stated an opinion as fact (which I don’t). Christians have long had the privilege of spouting their views uncontested, but if we respond with opposing ideas or criticism of their ideas, we aren’t just exercising the same rights they enjoy under freedom of speech: we are attacking them. This is why so many Christians today feel persecuted: they have been so mired in privilege for so long that they have yet to realize an equal but opposite assertion cannot rationally be deemed more offensive than their statements.
People of other faiths run into this problem in societies where Christianity is culturally dominant, too. Try responding to the above with some remarks on the hard and fast reality of reincarnation, and you won’t fare much better than the atheist.
For clarity, I’m not at all suggesting all Christians engage in this behavior. I’m just saying it’s a privilege available to them in our society, and it’s unfair to others. Of course they have the right to say what they believe. It’s just ludicrous for anyone to be offended when, after introducing a very controversial topic into polite conversation, they meet with intellectual opposition. Hell, when I argue that women are people, I brace myself for strong opposition to that oh-so-controversial view. If you’re arguing that you know God exists and what he thinks about things, you really need to be prepared for a healthy, respectful debate. And there is nothing unhealthy or disrespectful about someone voicing an opinion you find offensive, especially when you did exactly the same thing to them first.
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
You’re absolutely right. I can respect someone for having a different opinion or belief. But what I do not, and will not, respect is when that other opinion is used to cause harm to ALL others, including those who are not Christians. A classic case is made here:
http://www.atheistnexus.org/forum/topics/the-true-face-of-the-prolife?page=1&commentId=2182797%3AComment%3A398153&x=1#2182797Comment398153
Jacqueline Homan(Quote) (Reply)
True Christians – and I have known quite a few who really think and behave as Jesus advised, which is loving and wonderful – don’t support anything that hurts others. They don’t get on board with a lot of the “moral majority” political stuff, for example. And if I tell them I simply can’t discuss this stuff with them, they don’t bring it up.
Then there is a second layer – people who are mostly loving and wonderful, but they just can’t stop talking religion. They’ll honor my request not to speak of it to me for a month or a few months, then suddenly they’re telling me how the End Times are coming and Satan and God and blah blah. And it’s not like I don’t make it clear to them that the End Times crap is my LEAST favorite religious topic ever, because as a Christian I was taught to scorn it as fundamentalist claptrap, so as an atheist I certainly didn’t warm up to it any.
It feels exactly the same as someone talking about my breasts after I’ve asked them not to make comments about my body. It’s violating. It’s harassment.
In my experience, there are what I would call relaxed Christians and anxious Christians. Relaxed Christians are those who joined the faith to find a better way to live, and that’s their focus (rather than their neighbor). Anxious Christians seem to me to have something to prove, and they tend to go about it the way humans usually do when they need reassurance: trying to convince others to agree with them.
Of course, this dichotomy applies to pretty much everything. Even sex – some people have sex to make themselves happy, and others have it to impress someone else or fit some mold they think they’re expected to fit. It’s just human behavior.
Jennifer Kesler(Quote) (Reply)
How do I love this blog? Let me count the ways.
They have no right to call themselves Christians if they have no Chirst-like attributes. I had a vision from me old bud Jesus and he asked me to tell everyone to just stop. Stop it. You have gotten it all wrong. You have used his name to kill. Stop killing!
He hates what’s been done in his name. Jesus hates religion and he wants you all to quit it right now this second! And lay off the gay people too he said, and stop torturing, killing and eating animals.
You people are making him depressed. If you were the Prince of Peace today, how would you feel?
zellyblue(Quote) (Reply)
new to this i have had a run in with there hi and mighty beleafs.there are many we are few been to a church once lol.i wrote about my releguse up bringing on another thing on her about this stuff.i have been thrashed most my life by family pokes taken at me from a church becouse i stunk like piss on and on it go’s.lost the only blood i ever loved my kids so what book do i read brings them back or god or church?in hind sight alot of us are here becouse of all this b.s relegin shit bible country been at war killing eachother for 1000s of years.they dont like most of us unless you w/hold who and what we are.i wouldent beleave god would have endorsed any book that didnt us all the scrolls in it who picket what was wrote and what was left out?w/o all info know one will REALY know.a church that uses the money to help the members only for things like rebuilding a members burnt down house or repairs on the church its self cool.anymore than that they are huge corerations of ripp offs selling fauls hope and get tax right offs.when went to my 1st and last church they didnt want me there becouse i was neglected as a kid a stinky little fucker i was so what i made it through not doing to bad now they want my money.i would rather see people like us put together a church hook up a few times a year trade storys make some friends use the money to stop abusers bail people out of jams or jail or hell and give them something we never got
andy(Quote) (Reply)
I have to say that while I agree with this mostly in the way it pertains to religious beliefs in general, it’s also largely dependent on circumstance, and location.
Where I live/the environments I’m in Christians are criticized, and it’s rare someone holds back out of some sort of “respect”.
Sophia(Quote) (Reply)